Can't Sleep. Worrying.

It's currently 5:24am, cold, and I can't sleep.  I wish by everything I could, but it's eluding me.  I woke up 24 minutes ago because 'can't sleep. worrying."  I think I was dreaming about all the business but can't be sure.  I know it's in my head though because I journalled it here, part 3.  But I can't be sure since tonight's dream state was weak.  Maybe just getting this out will help lure the sandman back to bed.

I've been drafting texts to friends and preparing myself for what I feel is coming sooner than naught.  Don't pity, it's to people that make me laugh.  It goes something like this: "Well it's been announced... let the Hunger Games Begin!!"  I can't fucking lose laughter too...

There's certainly a responsibility that comes with knowing the impending, but maybe that's not so great.  Travis' company was blindsided by major layoff news; so he wasn't, but then he was, in the throws of it.  Having a single day to process the full range of emotions, where as I've layed with them for months.  He didn't have the dread and anxiety I've felt.  He didn't have time to speculate or interpret what does it all mean, I have.  He got dumped on VS my ramp up.

I don't know anymore whether I prefer to be shot with an arrow or chunked off the ship.



p.s. at least I can laugh in my head now (it's 5am people and puppy is sleeping next to me) about this visual.