Day 5: A Change of Pace (May 20)

My last morning view on Oah'u.

THE FLIGHT:  The Oah'u airport has a garden in some of the terminals you can relax in.  That's rad!  Plus this ahola shirt is right on the money. 

THE NEW HOTEL:   On the shuttle to pick up our rental car, a fine southern gentleman was informing some excursioning German tourists about the speed for which Maui moves.  He said "It's not like that Honeelulu place, this here island moves it's own way."  How right he was.  The speed limit never rises above 55, so when you're coming off a long day, getting stuck behind the law, is tough.

We checked into the Wailea Marriott with our expectations high.  Coming off a great stay in Honolulu, this should have been a continuation of great service.  More amenities: free daily breakfast, possible upgraded view even though we were already right on the beach, etc.

Checking in they had none of this recorded.  I calmly showed them the confirmation email, indicating all that was offered.  The guy ran to his manager, came back 10 minutes later with an attitude of nope - it's not in the system, that's not our "email format" and there's nothing I can do.  Traveling can be stressful so I was getting internally frustrated, since our travel agent had confirmed all this prior.  Travis took over while I phoned the agent, who'd unfortunately already left for the day because time happens.  Plus the room wasn't ready - yawn.  I'm just hungry and ready to have a key in my hand so I can not see any other faces except Travis.

At least I got my guaranteed puka shells upon arrival.

THE EATS:  A few days after arriving in Honolulu, we found a great vegetarian grocery store called Down to Earth.  We bought greek yogurt, fruit, carrots, & a few staples we could keep in the mini-fridge.  When this morning came around, we needed to leave in a hurry, yet still had this greek yogurt to deal with.  I originally thought it was decent, but it suddenly became gross.  Not like turned, but it probably never tasted good - it was simply familiar to home.  We tried mixing peanut butter in, hoping to rid ourselves of the taste, but instead we just made funky tasting peanut butter yogurt.  oh well.

**

For lunch, after exhausting all possible discussions with Daniel, we drove to 808 Deli (808 is the Hawaii area code.)  Mostly meat, but some veggie sandwhiches were listed on the colorfully chalked menu board.  They sounded fine, but I thought I'm gonna ask if there's anything off menu the waitress recommends.  I'd done that a few times in Waikiki, when we happened to eat at a non-dedicated veg house.  The answer was usually a polite no, but I figured, why not try my luck in Maui. 

In LA, you can ask any restaurant if they have items off menu and they're happy to tell you yes or no.  I mean, I'm pretty sure that's a thing to do.  Anyway, several places we eat at regularly oblige, so in my mind everywhere does.  The deli was the last time I'd attempt to win an uphill battle.  All I got was a somewhat perterbed lady who kept looking at the chalk & repeating what I could already see.  And she missed some too!  which I saw later.  I ended up with a pile of avocado & sprouts on wheat.

But they do have "soon to be famous" pudding, which for the flavors we tried of Peanut Butter Chocolate and Salty Caramel, was pretty darn accurate.  That almost makes up for the menu beef.

**

Because we kept thinking our anniversary was May 20, rather than May 24, we continued the tradition of having one nice meal in each city.  Travis found a lovely place to celebrate called The Plantation House.  They greeted us with glasses of champagne and a Happy Anniversary card signed by the staff.  Obviously none of them know us, but that's still pretty thoughtful.  The whole restaurant, including the loo, smelled like plumeria.  I like to imagine they are growing, hidden in the walls, fanned by a local artisan.

THE EVENING:  that sunset.

Day 4: The Pineapple Tree Of Infamy (May 19)

Travis took the lead on finding activities for us to do while on vacation.  I had a short list, then left the rest up to him.  He presented plans, we agreed together, and so I knew he'd booked this little excursion... on a boat... TO SWIM WITH SHARKS!!  The plan was to snorkel float in a metal cage for 10 minutes, while the sharks did their thing.  I truly thought it sounded awesome!  I also agreed because the company does lots of great environmental work to sustain the ocean & junk, so I felt our impact would be kept to a minimum.

But that enthusiasm was back when I was sitting in our office.  Suddenly as May 19 drew near, I begun to get nervous.  A little because of the sharks, yes, but more so about being in cold water.  Wait, don't laugh yet.  When I get cold, I start to shiver, my body tenses up, and I become a ball of anxious turnovers.  And for already having a heightened sense of alert, that wouldn't help the situation.  Plus in my mind sharks can dig your vibes, so they'd become agitated and then suddenly I've lost my good side.

We bought waterproof cellphone holders and everything to take pictures.  I love thinking the sharks are like, look at these fools... let's give 'em a show.  queue a shark's roar.  But hey, when will I have this moment again?

Mentally preparing for something unnatural isn't easy for me.  I think and plan and analyze and play out different scenarios in my head, hoping to work through as much of the apprehension as possible.  What I'm saying is "I'm a do something scary spontaneous" hoot.

But alas, it wasn't meant to be.  About 2 hours before our meet time, they texted everyone saying all tours were cancelled that day because of bad weather.  My appendages will remain in tact, for now.



THE MORNING: We got up early to visit the Pearl Harbor USS Arizona memorial before our make out session with the sharks.  I appreciate the history lesson because I heart learning, but here's my impression - which is shut up, my opinion.  I wish there was a suggestion box on the exit because I feel there are great opportunities for improvement.  The video was informative, they are organized, the memorial & grounds beautiful, but they didn't quite reflect all sides of the story and the gift shop seemed disrespectful.  $50 Hawaiian shirts, playing cards with photos of the attack, baseballs, golf balls, key chains, snow globes, candy, puzzles, totes, pins, patches, jewelry, golf visors, on and on and on...  It was like they ordered every cliche thing from Gift Shop Quarterly magazine and slapped a submarine on it.  Or in some cases, a sunken one.  I get it, selling goods to help fund the operation is par for the course.  But this just felt extra cheesy.  And I don't even actually care, it just seems like there is a better way.

Also, while taking the boat to the floating memorial, I sat behind this chick and became super fascinated by her tattoo.  She'll never know she's been immortalized in this journal. ;-)

THE DOLE PINEAPPLE PLANTATION:  I'm sorry, did you know pineapples grow on bushes?!  Did you know there is no such thing as a pineapple tree??!  Are Travis and I the only ones on the planet who were oblivious to these facts.  WTF!?  Like how is it, our entire lives, we thought machete warriors were swinging from limbs, hoisting down the sweet fruit.

It's actually a cool place to spend a few hours in.  A bit kitschy, bit informative & filled with smiles.  Pineapple shaped handles, pineapple shaped cut outs above the patio, giftshop with every shade of yellow, orange and green imaginable.  There were kids from a local preschool on a tour, even singing songs about pineapples!! And when the conductor from the Pineapple Express train yelled aloha, they answered back in unison.  I don't care for kids, but these little ones were extra squishy cute.

We learned you grow new pineapple bushes by twisting the top notch off a pineapple, placing it in water for a few days until roots are established, then plant.  Give it vitamins & water, and boom, in two short years you'll have one pineapple.  Then in another twelve months, one more pineapple.  How do they not cost $75 a piece?  We were actually watching an info lesson from a master pineapple specialist (who later was also a giftshop cashier) when shark encounter dudes texted us of the cancellation.  Suddenly we had gobs of time to spend and I was kinda stoked.

Then there was the maze.  That fucking maze. A hot, dry, tall encroaching shape of brush and trees, ready to defeat every sense of your determination.  I wanted to see the farm, but I REALLY wanted to attempt one of the worlds largest mazes.  Which just so happens to be shaped like a rectangle... no wait, a pineapple!

You must find 8 hidden stencils and if you do that in under 10 minutes, you win a prize.  I imagine the prize is a free trip through again, just to mess with your mind.  There is no set route and you can technically leave through any number of designated exits, because getting all 8 on your punch card doesn't get you shit.  Maybe a sense of accomplishment; maybe a brush with madness.

After 45 minutes and only 4 found, we muscled our way through a Clark reserved exit.  Because screw you puzzle {shakes fist,} we don't need you.

THE EATS: Ate lunch at The Beet Box Cafe again; dinner from the Loving Hut aka Culty McSupper Pants.



THE AFTERNOON: Went to a tiny roadside coffee farm, called Green World Coffee.  With all the unknowingness for us and how pineapples are harvested, did you know coffee comes from the berries of a bushy tree thing?  Did you know the fruit is edible?  This is one thing we DID know, which felt smart compared to the morning.

THE HIKES: Manoa Falls Trail, which has been home to filmings of Jurassic Park and Lost.  Maybe the actual ending to Lost ended up at the bottom of the pool... At the end of the day, we had walked over 10 miles on our foot ponies.

Day 3: Up And At Them (May 18)

When we unpacked the other day, turns out I forgot my round brush.  Said brush helps my hair de-pouf to a state of acceptable.  Until I ran to the ABC supermart, I'd been using my handy, dandy dino-brushy.  Which I love, but when it comes to blowdry management, it kinda extincts.

THE HIKING:  One. Thousand. Stairs.  Maybe 1,048... not sure now.  BUT SO MANY STAIRS!  Koko Head Crater.

THE EATS: Leonard's again!!  Because malasada's.  The birds around the shop know what's up.  They wait till people eat the treats outside, then snack on the donut leavings.

Back on the mainland, we decided one nice dinner in each location.  We chose Morimoto's because it had a great menu and the famous Iron Chef has been a staple in our relationship for many years.  Not for knowing him personally, but he was a wonderful competitor on the original Iron Chef.  Travis and I used to watch the show so much, we had our own overdub dialogue.  I even surprised him with Iron Chef bingo cards one day, so we could play along.



THE AFTERNOON:  The morning was way intense, full of so many stairs, so we decided to take advantage of another hotel amenity, free day bed by the pool.  FREE cushiony bit of swellness!!  Laying (often in the shade) by a pool or ocean is one of my most favorite, relaxing things to do.  ahhhhhh...

After a few hours, Travis wanted to go swimming in the ocean; I stayed behind.  He comes back, somewhat serious look on his face and proceeds to tell me about his jaunt.  As the photo shows, he has on what appears to be a regular collar shirt, but it's actually a quick-drying action shirt.  So picture Travis, in his shirt and swim trunks, walking out into the ocean.  He then realizes his sandals aren't secure being on his feet, so he plunges them onto his hands.  To use as paddles.

yep.

Day 2: Moment Of Clarity (May 17)

Howdy Hon-ee-loo-loo!


THE MORNING: I couldn't sleep well and after the eleventyth time tossin', figured it's stupid to keep doing so.  It was somewhere between 5:30a and 6a, the city starting to honk and move.  As quietly as possible, lugged a sittin' pillow, my laptop & phone outside to the balcony.  We slept with the door open, but drapes partially drawn; I went into stealthy mode.  I sat outside, hearing the ocean and seeing the beautiful colors, wanting to deep breathe the moment.  The desire to start writing about the trip was huge, but want and execution aren't always synonymous.  Instead, could only muster anxiety & guilt, while my fingers typed rubbish.  It's a cycle I often face when traveling, like my brain goes into you're not worthy enough to have this joy mode.  Yes I am, I retort.  And thanks to therapy, realize the pattern now.  So I stopped, closed my eyes, and restarted my mental morning routine.  Shortly thereafter, Travis woke up and it all washed away.  The mean behavior towards myself sunk with one "Good morning {smile}, are you excited!" from my husband.  This is why we're married.

THE EATS:  We tossed a couple of breakfast ideas around before settling on a place called Goofy's.  It's not Disney related, but rather an organic & locally sourced spot with delicious veg options.  It happened to be just around the corner from the hotel, which is usually a red flag for me.  I tend to experience restaurants either close to or connected with hotels are pretty lame - so I'm wary.  Don't show me what I can have back home, show me your flavour hand.  It turned out to be quite rad with our bus boy wearing an old Nirvana tshirt.

Post Diamond Head, driving back we took a different route and stumbled across a place we already had bookmarked to visit, Leonard's bakery, a staple for the malasada donut.  They are Portuguese by nature, Hawaiian by flavor.  Holy fried dough balls, they are some of the freshest, warmest, most incredible food stuffs I've had in a long time.  Dude, li hing mui powder anyone?

 

We drove to the North Shore for lunch at The Beet Box Cafe.  If you want great food, served by lovely ladies who love the ladies, this place is purrfect.  They're gift cards also feature Lionel Richie wishing you love.

THE HIKING:  We trolled up Diamond Head, which is a moderate hour most people recommend.  It was an old military defense bunker, that had cut outs for what I assume were for master blaster guns.  totally.  It was warm, but I was surprised by the lack of preparedness by many others.  It's $1 to walk into the trailhead and most people were either way over dressed (regular clothes instead of action pants) or under dressed, wearing flip flops.  I wanted to spend my time enjoying the views, not judging their life choices, but it was hard.  The hike was breezy, drizzly, hot and calm.  The views gave us our first taste of what the Hawaiian landscape has to offer.

As you leave the trail, there is a permanently stationed bus filled with happy ladies, ready to fulfill your shave ice, fresh pineapple in a zippy bag, and cold drink needs.  All with a smile & reasonable price.  I was quite impressed with how they cornered the market.  We finally had our first taste of yummy, fresh Hawaiian pineapple - or at least I'm telling myself that because I don't want to know if you've served me an import.  Travis also bought a diet soda, but what he grabbed was the full sugar option.  So it was like the natural and refined sugar armies went to battle.

THE AFTERNOON: After our Beet Box lunch, we found a lovely spot called Kaiaka Bay Beach Park.  We had sorta pooped around the lagoon near the hotel, but not really.  We shed our civilians, loaded up on pasty sunblock, and headed towards the shore.  YET NOT before Travis went walking barefoot on what looked like simple weeds, but turned out to be millions of tiny prickley things you could barely see with your eyes.  So before beach bonanza, we spent 15 minutes ridding his feet of this things.  ...ahhhh amour...

I hadn't been in actual beach water in many, many years.  I totally get why people love sea spray in the hair now.

It was so much fun walking along the sand and witnessing local doggies have the best time.  They'd run in the water, chasing a bone, retreiving it, rolling around in the sand and repeating this over and over.  They looked so fucking happy, it made me happy, and I finally felt relaxed enough to actually forget about worrying.