You know those songs that pop in your head for an indeterminate length of time, so much so that you to tell everyone around you. But in turn, you're transferring it onto the next person so you can rid yourself of the mind curse. You also know those songs that no matter when you hear it, will always make you stop to stir specific memories.
This is a tale that covers both.
It was the 90s, as many of my tales are. Oh crap - is the 90s my November 5, 1955, where everything revolves around that period of life? nah. But it
was the 90s, where days of high school were filled with friends and the weekend brought parties. Lots of parties with booze, drugs and debauchery. We lived in the desert, the Antelope Valley desert. And I understand your formidable years may not have any similarities, but this was all very normal for us. Even though these experiences are not for everyone, these were great moments of getting to know my friends, exploring who I was, and discovering mind altering solutions.
Because I steered clear of anything relating to "the norm" or "trendy/popular," I hardly ever participated in school events. I did, however, go to the battle of the bands contest the one year they had it, because my best friend was performing her screaming mic technique. It was my favoritist. But I didn't go to football games, I never sold World's Finest Chocolate bars in order to get cheaper prom tickets, and I never had school spirit. I just didn't see the point. The ONLY exception I allowed myself was Grad Night. Grad night is for Los Angeles high school seniors to visit Disneyland from 10pm to 2am, after it's been closed to the public. I made this exception because Disneyland.
The rumblings of Grad Night were starting to broil around school, so I went looking into the rules of attendance. I had to know what we could get away with! The first thing I discovered was the prior years' selection of dates was almost 30. Our years' selection dropped to 8. That meant 210 schools, each with several hundred seniors (at least) vying for one of those slots. That's a lot of fucking kids. The second thing I discovered was their strict dress code. In my day, gents had to wear collard shirts, while birds could only wear skirts or dresses. What the?! I hadn't worn skirts since I was a kid and the only dresses I owned were babydoll. I didn't think Disneyland was hip on grunge, so those were out because if they didn't like what you wore, you couldn't get in. Lastly, the tickets were expensive. $75 or $100. I had to really work extra hours and beg my parents for cash so I could go. Me and two other friends made the commitment, but it wasn't easy.
After sorting the tickets, the outfit was next. I wasn't going to buy anything because that would mean more money and more commonplace. I decided to make a skirt with an elastic waist from a pattern in my head. Yup - I would wing it because screw them and their rules. I'll do what I want! But, in actuality it was the most awkward and ill fitting thing I've ever made to date. It was some sort of flower print that required strange sandals... If I would have seen me walking about, I would have totally judged hard.
And finally, for the evening's activity. Smoking pot was too obvious and would definitely get us caught. Acid was an ok option, but with the amount of people going could easily make a bad trip. The three of us finally agreed to take ecstasy. It's supposed to make you love everything & everyone. Just a mellow high that made feeling better, better. I was hesitant at first, not because of what it was, but because it had never worked for me. The few prior times I tried, my friends were having the best time petting each other while I was bummed, alone, in the corner. But ok, I'll try again...
The night was here! It usually took between 30 and 45 minutes to kick in, so our plan was to drop close to the park. That way the downtime could be spent going through the line and once we passed the magic gates, our night would emerge. We finally saw the signs to our future getting closer, so down the hatch they went. It was approximately 9pm when we rolled in but holy hell, ALL the buses were suddenly jam packed near the Disneyland entrance. This was a time where you could still drive up near the front, rather than the current giant structure near by. We were sitting in the back and I remember all the kids going to the right side of the bus, gazing out the dirty windows onto the heard we had just found ourselves stuck in. There kids outside were EVERYWHERE, not moving. Staring. The bus driver refused to let us out until things calmed down... but they never did. And here us fools were stuck, starting to feel the E. I started to internally freak out like I was going to miss all the fun sitting on a vinyl seat instead of a plastic one (you know, cuz the rides are plastic.) But eventually they gave up trying to keep us seated and released the desert flock. It took two fucking hours to go 30 feet. It was awful, awful, awful. Granted, we didn't plan well enough to anticipate the crowd, but I won't take all the blame. Some is on the park employees. It still boggles my mind how ill-organized and chaotic they made the process, for an event which had been going for years. But damn it, we finally were in.
Let's goooooo!!!!!!!! I want to be on ecstasy in Disneyland, where I can touch and feel and experience!!! screech. halt. stop. We were going nowhere fast. I should have guessed based on how many kids were out front, there could only be a million times more inside. But we all grabbed hands (ooh, that felt good) and made our way slowly through. With every step there was someone next to you, behind you or in front of you. Constantly. I no longer was having the mellow buzz I desiered, but a heightened sense of everything. The janky skirt, the kids in line, the food, the far off live music and the music playing over the loud speakers.
We were silent, gripping each other, trying to go somewhere. The E getting stronger as we aimlessly walked around. Our subconscious minds were drawn to the live music by way of the Tomorrowland stage. I think it was because we could just sit and stare at the lights and be with it and with each other. But the band, holy shit, was
The Aquabats! They were a kinda popular catchy, ska-type band that made funny songs. What the hell were they doing here!? It was a nice surprise since it never popped up on my reconnaissance. We sat & stared & watched, trying to get back some of the high. It was all but too short lived. As if simultaneously with the last drum beat, the loud speakers barreled into my brain. I pushed it out for some moments because I wanted to people watch the band chat up high school chicks. I was soon pulled out of my fixated trance by the music genius' who turned up the volume to 11. ugh.
Let me tell you. The music director chose a TOTAL OF THREE SONGS to play, on rotation, the entire night. No skips to promote some food, no breaks for friends to talk, nope. And for someone taking something that skews yer brain, not good because you can never get away from it. It pokes, over and over at you like a woodpecker. My Grad Nightmare will never go away. They chose one song that was popular the year before, one that was popular at that moment, and one that was kitschy for our graduation year: 1999. (1) Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) by The Offspring; (2) No Scrubs by TLC; (3) 1999 by Prince.
To this day, each one of these songs brings me back to that night. It brings me back to the last time I tried ecstasy; it brings me back to a most bizarre haze of a night; and it brings back the enclosed feeling and the lack of escape.
Maybe if I roll now, it would have the reversing effect but I don't want to try in the event that I develop song tattoos...
