Day 12: Fin (May 27)

I wake up refreshed, but with a sadness in knowing we're leaving this wonderful place today; optimistic for knowing in 24 hours I'll be hugging my puppy once again.  Besides Travis, he's the most important other furson in my life.

The last 12 days have been an incredible journal together, discovering brave and scared, adventurous and full, relaxed and super relaxed.  A trip worth waiting 5 years, to the day.

This final May 27 is for our memories.  We'll enjoy one last tour of the ocean, one last afternoon by the pool, and one last hike to Sweetheart rock.



THE EATS: Goodbye 4 Seasons breakfast buffet, you were one of a kind.



THE ACCOMMODATIONS: Goodbye hotel, to your beautiful view and the time we shared in some wonderful life moments; Adieu to the automatic toilet for making every date an experience.

Goodbye John Tesh and kin.



THE ISLAND LYFES: Goodbye Lana'i, who made us feel welcome where ever we went.

I made this.

Day 11: Rescue Me Yellow (May 26)

WE GET TO GO 4X4-ING, WHICH I'VE NEVER DONE AND I'M SO EXCITED, GO VROOM VROOM VROOM RIGHT NOW PLEASE!!!!  Oh stomach, you're nerves have gotten to you?  You feel like you need to burb 1000 belches, but can't?  For shame, the day started out with such promise.

But then I drank tea and ginger ale and napped and in between, unleashed some great ones (according to Travis!)  Awwww yeah, we're back on our way!

THE EATS: Another breakfast buffet... another round of fresh malasada doughnut holes.  I could/could not get used to this.  Ok not really because I would probably puke all the time from the sugar overload.

**

Dinner was at the local Cafe 565.  Please, if you're in the neighborhood, stop by and have some of their deelicious ono food.  They were friendly, locals & cops love them, and they have won best local Ono Grinds for like 7 years in a row or something.  Dessert calzone with vanilla ice cream, that was flailed in the middle and topped with chocolate.  Fuck it, it's our last night.  It was awesome and I wanted two.

THE ADVENTURE:  Hellz yeah, Shipwreck Beach.

Garden of the Gods:

At the end of a VERY bumpy, but VERY appropriate 4x road, was Polihua Beach.  It was essentially just us and one other couple, where that fella only had interests in using all the SD cards to take photos of his woman.  She only had one pose: hat on head, hand on hat, dress gently blowing, smile.  Most boring slide show ever, those bummed out friends will have to endure.

NOTE:  I started drawing TOC POD in the sand.  For some reason, a few bees came over to check me out.  Travis doesn't like bees and Travis became very nervous.  I was hunched over, insisting he stay calm; That we could leave as soon as I got a photo of the water washing away the words.  He started pacing in circles saying "I'm freaking out, I'm freaking out! This is my nightmare!!!"  I kept lovingly yelling & smiling to stay calm, that they feed off your anxiety.   It didn't work.  I understand - he stepped on a bee when he was 6, so obviously...

Despite my loving concern, he did in fact freak out and ran through my neatly groomed statement, squashing any chance of the photo.  Then he ran all the way back to the car, in what I imagine was him with his arms flailing above head, in the hopes he'd go faster, while the bees huddled off to the side.  I captured both our foot trajectories...  I laughed so hard.  <3

THE EVENING:  The adventure is near over.  Our final Lana'i sunset and a heard of Axis deer that just started running in front of us.  Be safe deer buddies!

 

Day 10: A Fisherman's Trail of Sweat (May 25)

We were supposed go romping around in a 4x4, but apparently they are the thing to do on Memorial day in Lana'i.  Or they only have like a handful and so like 6 people renting sells them out.  No biggie - our fancy, schmancy itinerary was updated to swap Monday's dirt for Monday's massage.



THE EATS:  The heavier than usual food and oh so many treats are really starting to wear on me.  I started craving vegetables, 0% greek yogurt, and the vegan protein shakes I like days ago.  Besides puppy, this is where the "I miss home" is really starting to set in.  It's not even creature comforts, but the ability to cook a healthy meal.  And by healthy I mean simply knowing what I'm putting together, so I can measure the calories/proteins/fats/sugars, etc.

Yet I can't stop.  The buffet's are fresh, delicious and are healthy compared to what most people probably eat.  But when you're not used to consuming so much sugar, salt, & your body goes into magician mode & tricks you into thinking it needs more of that.  I'm unintentionally retraining it to feel different.  ack!  And although I know its game, I give in because it's a free 4 Seasons buffet...

**

Dinner at the hotel.  And dessert?  Why yes, don't mind if I do - I haven't had one in ages.

THE HIKES:  Fisherman's Trail starts at the hotel and in our minds, was a leisurely walk around the island that supposedly took an hour roundtrip.  And when we first started, a lady was coming back wearing only sandals - so how hard could it be?  Oh prey tell, how wrong we were.  We endured moments of cliff careening, walking on a golf course (much to the dismay of random old people,) having to say multiple times "I think this is it?!?" only to end up on an access road of said golf course.  Where then the trail begins?  It took us about 2 1/2 hours to complete the darn thing, but felt good.

I love this island but they have some goofy outdoorsey adventures...

THE DAY:  After exhausting hike time central, and don't want it to stop massage time central, we wandered down to the beach so Travis could wrestle some waves.  I enjoyed a lovely afternoon stretching and reading, having my husband chivalrously protect his fair maiden from the scary waters.  barf.

Day 9: Happy Birthday Anniversary (May 24)

Today, Today, it's today!!

I'm up, turn my head to focus my still waking eyes, and smile.  5 years ago Travis and I went to the fine city of Santa Barbara, to elope in the presence of a very sweet justice of the peace lady.  No fanfare, no pressure, no bullocks.  Just he and I, promising to be kind, supportive and loving until we perish in a fiery montage of metal music.  

For me, I can't say it's one of the best days of my life because that would mean the others aren't as special.  It's a turning point in any relationship, sure, but to single it out doesn't feel right.  It's a momentous event on a calendar we both have access to.  Don't get me wrong, I love that x 1,000,000.  And I love remembering being so concerned we'd be late, like the window of marriage would somehow close on us if we didn't make that appointment.  {ahem, they're open all day}  And it makes me happy knowing we walked away from that beautiful courthouse, radiating the biggest smiles inside and out.  That day.  That day prospers the anticipation for making the rest of our time together, the ultimate tops.

*******

It's our last day on Maui and we need to pack up our haul.  Not a bunch of junky souvenirs, mostly scruffled dirty clothes, muddy shoes, and the occasional outfit I shouldn't have brought.  Travis kindly offers to help, but the limited square footage requires a delicate hand of Tetris.  I can't tag team him in.  This shoe here, that sock stuffed there... it all has to work properly, otherwise shit's gettin' left.

While stowing the few food items we did acquire, I realized there hasn't been much I've wanted to buy.  No shirts, hats, magnets, poi, towels, bangly wooden windchimes or hard knockered coconut bikinis.  I'm pretty sure I've become a huge skeptic for buying because I know who they're catering too - and it's not me.  For all the things that appear to be "small batch / local / handmade / only get here / don't you dare look on Amazon," they aren't.  And that bums me out.  Most visitors wouldn't venture into the actual parts of town to find that shop the locals love.  But we do and that's where I want to spend my business.  Yet I'm finding it extra hard in a place that thrives on the dollars of cheaply sandaled haoles...



THE EATS:  Say no more - Slappy Cakes! Slappy Cakes!  Slappy Cakes!  Slappy Cakes is a trippy pancake & bar house, where you make customizable flapjacks at your own personal griddle station!  Before we left, I told Travis one of the few things I wanted on this trip was a lovely pancake breakfast on our anniversary.  I don't eat them often but if there was gonna be a day, this would be it!

So. Good.

**

Nobu for our actual anniversary dinner and not the pretend one we thought was may 20, which was also extra lovely!  Travis arranged for a swell view, overlooking the pool & ocean.  They offered me a fantastic array of veggie options, including clay rubbed tofu & succulent brussel sprouts.  mmmmmmmmmmm.  For dessert, I ordered the Nobulito souflee (not really labeled that.)  Chocolately and delicious, with secret taro ice cream!  Oddly enough, they got every other detail right of our reservation, yet wrote Happy Birthday! in chocolate on my treat.  oops.  But I didn't mind... WARM CHOCO GOO!

THE STUFF BEFORE LANA'I:  Instead of a stressful 30 minute flight to Lana'i, we chose to take an easy, peasy ferry.  It left from Lahaina, the same Lahaina we pooped around in yesterday.  But having an hour before the ship set sail, gave us pooping around today time, too!  We had the opportunity to walk down the other side of the street.  Here is what we saw.

Not enough hilarity to take us back across the street to Mick's though...

THE RELAXING ISLAND OF LANA'I:  Oh Lana'i... you are special.  I felt that when we arrived and it lasted until we set foot back on Oahu... <3

...Classy Clarks' bring their own food for the stay.

first look at Lana'i.  Starspeeder engage!

THE FINAL HOME:  We got a great deal on booking the 4 Seasons, which other than the small mom & poppy place in town, is the only other resort on Lana'i.  I'd never had an employee greet us by name before, who also happened to have our complete itinerary at the ready.  It felt like we were playing extra dressup and I was ok with it.  The balcony looked like a giant TV picture window; our travel agent arranged for a special anniversary welcome dessert; THE FISH LIT UP when you pushed the control buttons for the lights because everything worked on gizmos; giant actual TV; bar stocked with good wine and fancy glasses I could only imagine cost more than my Fiat's lease; the toilet... the toilet lifts up when you walk near, heats when you sit for a while and has all kinds of goofy buttons.

This will do just fine...

Day 8: Onolicious (May 23)

Went for a jog in the morning.  It felt really good to be moving in a controlled manner and motivating against the backdrop of ugly tourists.



THE EATS:  Ono is good.  Grinds/Grindz is eating.  Eating is Ono.  It all makes sense now... 808 Grindz Cafe is one of the coolest places we've visited so far.  Located in Lahaina, which is northern Maui, tucked away towards the back of a shopping mall.  Like the portions of one dish aren't totally undue your pants buttons, but it's definitely pat your stomach as you leave.  The host feller was super cool and the waitress reminded me of someone who says the Hawaiian equivalent of toots.  RAINBOW FRENCH TOAST / RED VELVET PANCAKES WITH SOME KIND OF ONO FROSTING

LUNCH: So, um, did you like, um know Mick Fleetwood has a restaurant in Maui?  We stopped in for ice tea because duh.  While sipping, Travis and I pondered the serious lack of Landsliders, Fleetwood Mac & Cheese, Tuskan Chicken something or other, and for dessert RUMsmores (like Rumors, but with smores.)

We didn't go to Scoopy's because in addition to ice cream & treats, they also sold excursions.  I don't think so - I'll stick with just liking the name please.

DINNER: After the crater was Monkeypod!  Monkeypod Kitchen was a swell place, kinda sorta upscaley, up the street from our hotel.  They had lots of veggie things and I ate all of them.  Walking & hiking at the elevation we did on Crater Maui, and having not had much all day, a pizza sounded fanfuckingtastic.  No photos because I looked a fright.  ...the fashion sneers I got for wearing a grey fuzzy beanie... those cows can kick rocks.

Fighting the urge to become so relaxed that we'd dozed at the table, reminded me of the time Travis and I hiked Mount Wilson, er rather attempted the 13 mile one way trip.  I don't think we even got half way because it was more intense than we realized.  At the end of our feet ropes, we went to dinner.  But before we left, fell asleep in our car, in the parking lot.  WORTH IT.



THE DAY:  Lahaina park is for walking and farting.  No wait, arting.

THE HIKES:  On the way to Haleakala National Park is a tiny lavender farm & cafe: Maui Lavender.  They had lavender tea, scones, lemonade and a homemade cinnamon roll.  Holy roller.  She took our order up and the hot tea came straight away, however, the bun was lost between the nooks & crannies.  When we inquired, she realized the mistake and put a rush on it.  She found the "largest one in the tray" and made sure we got "extra icing."  At this point with our eating, what does it matter...

Haleakala National Park is a phenomenal place for a hike and breathtaking views of the island, or in our case, being high above an entire sky full of yummy fluffy clouds.