It's that time of year when I realize I should have completed my gift making months ago, should have written down all the shit I need to do, and should not keep track of how many days till 24 hours of A Christmas Story because I want to watch now!
But at this point, life makes it a cyclical habit that's hard to break.
It's also the time of year where me and my most special girlfriends from high school get together for a holiday gift exchange and night of debauchery, as if we never missed a day of each others' faces. This fierce group of 6 has managed to exercise our holiday right almost every year since 1999. But don't totally picture one-night stands, don't totally think limitless booze, and don't totally speculate a lot of opinions. Not quite but sort of.
We've been comrades and foes, criers and huggers, drink buyers when relationships soared and failed, and even a few that swapped. Seen girls kiss boys and girls kiss girls, girl steals boy and boy splits town. Through parents reading journals and being chased by cops, threatening to run away to Seattle and scrounging for Whopper money. College and trips abroad, marriage and divorce, careers and start-overs, a couple of kids but most of us with pups, money and not so much money. Naked runs on a private beach and piercings that have long been removed. Brilliant tattoo choices and some not so much. Denial of drug use and abandoned houses, generator parties and part time jobs. Outdoor sleepovers where we spent all night figuring it out... together. Always, together. And laughs, laughs and more laughs I wish I heard more often.
Seriously, this is a set friendships spanning 15-20+ years, where without
saying, we are still there for the best and worst of each others'
lives. Long conversations using our parents phone have transitioned to facebook chats and rambling text messages, but we still love each other. We appreciate each
other more than the day we graduated and that's fucking tops. This will never change because growing up in a desert town forces that
existence upon you, whether you ask for it or not. There is a bond
between people that is rarely dissolved, albeit windy at
times. I would never exchange these ladies for anything in the world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The gathering of the ladies changes location year to year. Often it's what works best timing wise, other years someone has moved into a new place. 2012 hosting was bequeathed upon us because it was the first Christmas in our new home. Sweet & junk, but yes of course!
After the formalities of re-stoking the catch up fires, we pour drinks and eat snacks and talk stories of what's been happening. Then the opening and stealing of the gifts begins. This is where gentle claws come out to play for a spell. It can take anywhere from 30-60 minutes of us cackling between the choosing, drink & smoke breaks. But anyone who's been to a gift exchange between a great group of friends, knows what an awesome time you have.
A few hours into hanging out this particular year, the idea of getting into a little trouble was appealing. Not raise hell trouble but our classed up version of it. Us doing something that usually results in a "I can't believe/remember that happened..." as we recount & relaugh at our forever memories.
Not sure why the idea struck me, but I suggested we visit Bob Hope's house because they put up this ancient nativity scene every year. Maybe it was to share the Christmassey mood or simply a mini-activity before doing something else. Either way, I enjoy it for non-religious reasons and thought they would too. It has white & blue lights that project strange shadows and oversees the neighborhood like a tall, plasticine governor should. We designated a driver, piled in shoulder to shoulder, and headed off for how ever long it took.
We circled before parking in their little mini-driveway that is on the edge of the property (look here - we parked about 10 feet in front of the red bows.) Silly me for thinking we would just stare & make jokes. Silly me for thinking it's fine to pull up in front of a very high profile house around midnight as if it was our own crib. Silly me.
Nope, they wanted more action. Never in a destructive way though - never. Just in a we're having fun way and someone has an idea that leads to another idea, and eventually we're like I can't believe we did that. and so on. To also note, at the time I don't think anyone actually lived there, but it's Bob Hope's fucking house so tom foolery eventually gets noticed.
Two of these lovely ladies decided they needed a close up view of the manger and started climbing the fence. If you look at the daytime photo, it doesn't seem that tall. But turns out does require a strong finger foot hold and a heave ho. They struggle for a few minutes but eventually make it and we're all laughing. However, internally I'm like fuck-fuck-fuck this place is being watched. It's a nice neighborhood where I'm sure they don't take kindly to even cute girls laughing and walking the fence this late. So they're up there holding baby jesus and riding the donkey and yelling back to us at what they see over the walls. They are taking photos and then disappear for a hot minute while my other friends light a smoke.
I finally can't shut my inner mum up, so I urge them we should leave before something bad happens. Surprisingly I think we all felt it and everyone mostly obliged. :) I let out a deep breath of releif, sat in the car while they scurried down, thinking in a minute we'll be driving off to the next adventure. Sigh, ok good we're all in the car.
That's when a neighborhood security patrol car pulled up. fuck.
By no means were we drunk, but drinks were had. There's neighborhood patrol because it's a ritzy hood. But I thought it's fine - they can really do anything cuz they're rent a cops.
Two younger gentlemen rolled down their windows and we mimicked, before asking what we were up to. I was somewhat familiar with the local backstory and was with it enough to answer straight. I said my friends were visiting from out of town and I wanted to show them the beautiful manger, because it had always meant so much to me at Christmas. How happy I was someone still put it up, without the Hope's living there. Play it up Brandi, but not too much I thought.
Well my charming personality and general cuteness of our car must have won them over, because they smiled, suggested it was time to leave and to have a nice night. Then they drove away and that's when I saw who had employed those nice young men.
COPS. Yes, COPS. FUCKING REAL DEAL, ARREST OUR ASSES COPS DROVE AWAY with the same politeness as they pulled up with. And not just fancy neighborhood cops, like the city cops that ALWAYS WRITE TICKETS AND LOOK FOR SHIT TO BE WRONG. But by the grace of Hope's Nose, they let us go without so much as 30 seconds worth of discussion.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had a bonding moment that lasted through our hangover breakfast the next morning and then we parted ways. Hugging and savoring the last 24 hours that will tide us over till next year.
I love you bitches.
Showing posts with label COPS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label COPS. Show all posts
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Tell You Thursday: Sometimes, the po-lice are just wrong.
I was a bit of a rebel rouser in high school. I ran with both an older crowd and a crowd who enjoyed activities questionable by local authorities. But it was fun and these were my mates, whose friendships were intense, amazing, and heartbreaking all within a few short years.
One night in the late 90s, probably hanging out at one of the frequented sets of Lancaster houses, our friend Fonz asked if we wanted to check out a super haunted house in Tehachapi, CA. This was at least a 45 minute venture north, but I was stoked since I've always been a believer in ghosts/goblins/demons. I love watching scary movies for entertainment, but the second I imagine the act happening in real life, I tremble. Despite still sleeping with a night light and hugging my assortment of plushies, I love it - truly love it. And don't judge yo - the plushies are often designer and awesome, and I make my own, cuz i'm awesome. :)
I digress... So Fonz peaks our interest and down the road we go. It's Fonz, our friend Ezra, our friend Melissa, her then boyfriend Bryan, me and my then boyfriend Auggie. We pile into two cars. I was driving Auggie and myself in my dark green Honda Civic. Fonz or Ezra was driving his car, with Mellisa and Bryan in back. We eventually turned off the highway and followed Fonz down this janky dirt road for miles. At that point, our night was common since the whole desert is filled with dirty and janky streets. But the moon was gigantic and bright, casting a luminous, blue shadow over every inch of grey & black. The kind of light where you can almost turn everything else off and still see. Almost..
After driving for what I remember as 20 minutes, we finally pull over to the right, park, and get out of the car. Picture the dirt road laying before and behind us. Blue and grey lit tumbleweeds on either side, old cars, tires, junk, wood, trash, and probably ants. Gah I hate ants. We were silent for a spell and Melissa and I probably started squealing and grabbing any of the guys.
About 100-150 feet in front of us, behind a rusty chain link fence, stood a 2-story wooden, apocalyptic doll house. Most rooms were exposed to the night air because they were missing the side wall. The remaining were half open, covered by wooden slats, broken and jagged. Fonz encouraged us to walk up to the house, but we were all really freaked out. We remained frozen in our shoes. Him telling us the history didn't help, either. Apparently the person who owned it was a witch. She and her coven would practice their witchcraft, trying to summon spirits and demons. The witch was said to later be murdered by her coven after a ritual. She was found hung by the second story banister, gutted above a pentagram. Dude. Again, facing that story in true life was fucking heart-stopping palpitations. But since i'm outta 'danger', I WANNA GO BACK! It's a vicious cycle I put my bod through..
Right as we were about to trespass the fence, we saw a single light through a broken window. Almost like an electric flicker candle. It was just far enough to make us question whether we were actually seeing it, but all of us had the same vision. So it had to be true - right? It seemed to float and move from room to room. {heart racing then & now} We couldn't do anything but stare and grab each others hands. I think we ended up hearing something strange and that was that. We fled, speeding back down the dirt road toward civilization.
And here's where the po-lice come to play.
On our way back, Fonz and Ezra needed gas. We both pulled into a station with a convenience store, which made Auggie happy because he wanted candy or cigarettes or something. While he shopped inside, I stood outside the car, watching my friends all laughing and recounting the holy fuck what did we just do. I turned around to see if Auggie was still shopping or paying, and when I turned around a cop car had pulled up in front of me. And not in the we're getting coffee and donuts way - they were intentionally blocking my car. I froze and stopped breathing. Even now, cops make me nervous, but back then, they made me super nervous. I never had any good experience with them during this period of my life. Arresting my friends for smoking cigarettes and pot, harassing people at parties, and overall didn't ever make me feel any safer. I was always told cops are the ones you go to for help, but something about this agitated & confusing time for me proved otherwise. As a grownup, I watch A LOT of COPS the TV show because c'mon, it's a 30 minute package of awesome. It's also easier to sit back, enjoying the carnival ride since it would be rare I would ever find myself in those predicaments now. I still find some police officers who take me right back to Lancaster and the roughness I saw, but I have met others who are decent & nice.
So at this moment, I now find myself staring at them alone. Auggie is oblivious and the others aren't coming near me and I never blamed them, I wouldn't have either. I nano-secondly itemized everything on "my person" and in my car. Shit. Did I forget to take out that dope, was there leftover beer from the other night... anything that would give them a reason to haul me off. But no, I was clean. They stare at me through their giant windshield. I stood still not knowing what our next moves were. They get out of the car, come over and ask to search my vehicle. My defenses shot up and as plainly as possible, asked what cause they had. "We're the police" they said. NOPE! Not good enough, so I stated "Hey, i'm not doing anything so what are you looking for!" Their replay was "A Burger King was just robbed and you and your car fit the description. Two women in a black Honda Civic, wearing bandanas robbed the store about 10 minutes ago."
Ok, mental check. My car is dark green, it was me and Auggie, and to the best of my recollection, 10 minutes ago I was staring face to face with a ghost... So um no - that wasn't me officer. I relayed all this highly pertinent information. When they calmed a bit, they said they understood but since it was dark, black and green look similar and since my boyfriend wasn't in the car, there could have been a second lady. They asked nicer if they could search my car for bandanas and I guess, a sack of money. Once I knew I was clean and they certainly wouldn't find either of those things, I said yes. After a few minutes of an empty search, they thanked me and drove off. Auggie was staring at me with his wares, the others came over and we all kinda said what the fuck. I held it together much better than I expected, which was fantastic considering how unprepared I was.
One night in the late 90s, probably hanging out at one of the frequented sets of Lancaster houses, our friend Fonz asked if we wanted to check out a super haunted house in Tehachapi, CA. This was at least a 45 minute venture north, but I was stoked since I've always been a believer in ghosts/goblins/demons. I love watching scary movies for entertainment, but the second I imagine the act happening in real life, I tremble. Despite still sleeping with a night light and hugging my assortment of plushies, I love it - truly love it. And don't judge yo - the plushies are often designer and awesome, and I make my own, cuz i'm awesome. :)
I digress... So Fonz peaks our interest and down the road we go. It's Fonz, our friend Ezra, our friend Melissa, her then boyfriend Bryan, me and my then boyfriend Auggie. We pile into two cars. I was driving Auggie and myself in my dark green Honda Civic. Fonz or Ezra was driving his car, with Mellisa and Bryan in back. We eventually turned off the highway and followed Fonz down this janky dirt road for miles. At that point, our night was common since the whole desert is filled with dirty and janky streets. But the moon was gigantic and bright, casting a luminous, blue shadow over every inch of grey & black. The kind of light where you can almost turn everything else off and still see. Almost..
After driving for what I remember as 20 minutes, we finally pull over to the right, park, and get out of the car. Picture the dirt road laying before and behind us. Blue and grey lit tumbleweeds on either side, old cars, tires, junk, wood, trash, and probably ants. Gah I hate ants. We were silent for a spell and Melissa and I probably started squealing and grabbing any of the guys.
About 100-150 feet in front of us, behind a rusty chain link fence, stood a 2-story wooden, apocalyptic doll house. Most rooms were exposed to the night air because they were missing the side wall. The remaining were half open, covered by wooden slats, broken and jagged. Fonz encouraged us to walk up to the house, but we were all really freaked out. We remained frozen in our shoes. Him telling us the history didn't help, either. Apparently the person who owned it was a witch. She and her coven would practice their witchcraft, trying to summon spirits and demons. The witch was said to later be murdered by her coven after a ritual. She was found hung by the second story banister, gutted above a pentagram. Dude. Again, facing that story in true life was fucking heart-stopping palpitations. But since i'm outta 'danger', I WANNA GO BACK! It's a vicious cycle I put my bod through..
Right as we were about to trespass the fence, we saw a single light through a broken window. Almost like an electric flicker candle. It was just far enough to make us question whether we were actually seeing it, but all of us had the same vision. So it had to be true - right? It seemed to float and move from room to room. {heart racing then & now} We couldn't do anything but stare and grab each others hands. I think we ended up hearing something strange and that was that. We fled, speeding back down the dirt road toward civilization.
And here's where the po-lice come to play.
On our way back, Fonz and Ezra needed gas. We both pulled into a station with a convenience store, which made Auggie happy because he wanted candy or cigarettes or something. While he shopped inside, I stood outside the car, watching my friends all laughing and recounting the holy fuck what did we just do. I turned around to see if Auggie was still shopping or paying, and when I turned around a cop car had pulled up in front of me. And not in the we're getting coffee and donuts way - they were intentionally blocking my car. I froze and stopped breathing. Even now, cops make me nervous, but back then, they made me super nervous. I never had any good experience with them during this period of my life. Arresting my friends for smoking cigarettes and pot, harassing people at parties, and overall didn't ever make me feel any safer. I was always told cops are the ones you go to for help, but something about this agitated & confusing time for me proved otherwise. As a grownup, I watch A LOT of COPS the TV show because c'mon, it's a 30 minute package of awesome. It's also easier to sit back, enjoying the carnival ride since it would be rare I would ever find myself in those predicaments now. I still find some police officers who take me right back to Lancaster and the roughness I saw, but I have met others who are decent & nice.
So at this moment, I now find myself staring at them alone. Auggie is oblivious and the others aren't coming near me and I never blamed them, I wouldn't have either. I nano-secondly itemized everything on "my person" and in my car. Shit. Did I forget to take out that dope, was there leftover beer from the other night... anything that would give them a reason to haul me off. But no, I was clean. They stare at me through their giant windshield. I stood still not knowing what our next moves were. They get out of the car, come over and ask to search my vehicle. My defenses shot up and as plainly as possible, asked what cause they had. "We're the police" they said. NOPE! Not good enough, so I stated "Hey, i'm not doing anything so what are you looking for!" Their replay was "A Burger King was just robbed and you and your car fit the description. Two women in a black Honda Civic, wearing bandanas robbed the store about 10 minutes ago."
Ok, mental check. My car is dark green, it was me and Auggie, and to the best of my recollection, 10 minutes ago I was staring face to face with a ghost... So um no - that wasn't me officer. I relayed all this highly pertinent information. When they calmed a bit, they said they understood but since it was dark, black and green look similar and since my boyfriend wasn't in the car, there could have been a second lady. They asked nicer if they could search my car for bandanas and I guess, a sack of money. Once I knew I was clean and they certainly wouldn't find either of those things, I said yes. After a few minutes of an empty search, they thanked me and drove off. Auggie was staring at me with his wares, the others came over and we all kinda said what the fuck. I held it together much better than I expected, which was fantastic considering how unprepared I was.
These memories stir up every few years, sometimes when I see a police car or hear about an actual haunted house. I don't know the roads that could take me there now, despite wanting to TOTALLY go back. I hope other kids heard the tales and were braver than us. Despite much searching on the internets, I found no documents of the house or events that supposedly transpired. So kids, if you find out, please write a lil' something and help this old lady out.
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